


on my knees and i'm seeing visions

by whitew0rms



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: M/M, This is unrepentant porn im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 12:01:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13612959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitew0rms/pseuds/whitew0rms
Summary: Brian almost wants to murder him for fucking up his track record the way that he did. Because there’s something about Pat that just makes him want to get on his knees and beg





	on my knees and i'm seeing visions

**Author's Note:**

> yooo im back baby  
> title from tyler glenn's trash, which i listened to a lot while writing this, along with a helluva lot of lana del rey. Thank you to acedicide for the beta, and pointing out all my silly mistakes!! 
> 
> if you're portrayed in this, or you know anyone portrayed this, please go away. im crying at the thought of you reading it. you don't want that surely? i'm talking to you simone. just turn away.

Brian maintains that nothing like this had ever happened before Pat. He’d always been ridiculously vanilla, in a way that included his dating life as well as his general preferences. He’d never been one to have a crush on a teacher, or a boss. Always had normal relationships with his coworkers, besides the occasional stirrings of attraction in his gut.

And then there was Pat, who was weird in a lot of ways, and Brian almost wants to murder him for fucking up his track record the way that he did. Because there’s something about Pat that just makes him want to get on his knees and beg. He wants Pat to slap him around, to act like he’s Brian’s boss when he definitely isn’t, to tell him what to do. It’s new, and strange, and heady in his gut, and Brian wants to submit to Pat, wants his approval, wants him to call him a good boy.

Brian thinks it must be the age difference, at least a little, although he knows that while he’s young, he’s not that young, and Pat’s not that old. But it’s there enough to do something to him. Brian still looks like a twink barely out of high school, and Pat can actually grow facial hair and have it look good. He knows intellectually that Pat is actually just as much of a disaster as him, but some part of his brain stops short when he sees the grey patch in his beard, when sees Pat in his soft looking cardigans and collared shirts, looking like an adult man, who knows what he’s doing with his life, rather than a weird twink living month to month off ramen, not that Brian knows anything about that.

The horrible infatuation culminates the day they stream No More Heroes together. Brian’s nervous with streams, he works better when he’s written up everything he wants to say in advance, isn’t always great at ad libbing and rolling with the punches. He’s funny, but sometimes he worries he isn’t funny enough to actually work with Polygon, that in a month or two they’ll look at him and be suddenly tired, suddenly pull the rug out from under him. Brian might even think that’d be the right decision. Brian’s been feeling alright about this mostly, Pat has a way of keeping him calm, or at least calmer than he’d be if it were someone else he was streaming with. The way he radiates heat sitting next to Brian puts him at ease.

“Have you ever called anyone ‘old man’ unironically?” Pat says, in response to the game but Brian feels himself startle, can feel the start of a blush heading down the back of his neck. He laughs a little, nervously. 

“I don’t think so.” He replies, not really funny but at least actually saying something other than the inarticulate screaming in his head. 

“Would you like to?” Pat doesn’t let Brian off, doesn’t drop it, pushes it further, in a way that almost feels like flirtation, and Brian can feel the blush intensifying, and he hopes fervently that it doesn’t show on the camera, that no one can see the way the pink slowly making itself known in his cheeks.

“No, I-” He stammars, an old quirk, something he never quite managed to get out of. “I think I’d wanna-”

“Well, see, I was gonna offer you an opportunity right there.” Pat interrupts and Brian’s mind goes blank, just thinking about it.

He thinks about looking up at Pat, thinks about kneeling in front of him, thinks about acting like a brat, telling him he’s a dirty old man, and thinks about Pat spreading his legs wider for Brian to sit between. A smirk stretching across his face, and his hands in a careless shrug. Pat doesn’t care if he’s a dirty old man, it wouldn’t matter, because Brian would want him no matter what, it makes him want him more, if anything.

Brian can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the stream, feels distracted, hot and shaky, with butterflies in his stomach.

It’s later, when they’ve packed up the equipment, and Pat casually asks if Brian wants to play a bit more. Brian demurrs, but says he’ll watch Pat play, says he’ll sit with him for a bit, if he doesn’t mind that is.

Pat doesn’t.

The office is empty, it’s just the two of them late that evening, and Brian almost didn’t notice the way it got dark around them, most people leaving for the day. It seems like it’s just them for now, and that makes Brian’s stomach flip, he feels like he’s got electricity humming under his skin, like he needs to do something to stop it, like he needs to get the static shocks out of him.

Pat’s staring at the TV, tongue poked out of his mouth. With the mics, and the cameras gone, Brian can watch him, watch his long fingers move, watch the way his legs seem to stretch on, the way he spreads out, lets his body lie where it falls. It’s a kind of absent minded confidence that Brian wishes he had, rather than the constant mind-numbing awareness of every part of his body that’s so obvious within him. 

That awareness might make it hard to excuse himself, but it feels like Brian’s body is working on autopilot, when he gets up, crawls onto the floor, and very purposefully positions himself between Pat’s legs, his face near his crotch, staring up at Pat. He knows he might make a huge fool of himself and ruin his career, but he can’t stop himself, and there’s no turning back now.

“Hey, old man.” he says, feeling his blood rush, looking at Pat intently. Pat opens his mouth slightly, before slowly turning off the game, placing the controllers next to him, and gently fisting his hands into Brian’s hair. Brian wants him to pull. Hard.

“Hey, baby boy” Pat says, and it should sound sleezy, should disgust Brian, but it doesn’t. It sounds right in Pat’s voice, makes Brian’s jeans feel uncomfortably tight, makes his skin too tight. Brian brings his hands up, and slowly undoes Pat’s belt, pulls it out and holds it in his hands. The leather is firm, but a bit worn down, and Brian wants to wear it like a collar and leash all in one. That’s a thought for another day, and he puts it to the side, next to Pat, before he starts to work on the button of Pat’s jeans. He undoes it, and then the zipper too, his hands over Pat’s cock in his jeans, and he can feel that he’s hard, and it makes him feel smaller and more powerful at the same time. It makes him want to do what he’s told.

Pat stands up then, and Brian feels even smaller, staring up at him, breathing hot. Pat slowly, pulls down his jeans and underwear, lets Brian help him step out of the jeans, leaving the boxers pooled around his ankles, before Pat sits back down and fists his hand once more in Brian’s hair, and pulls him closer. Pat’s cock is hard and flushed against his pale skin, and Brian has never wanted something in his mouth more. He opens his mouth on instinct, before thinking a bit further.

“Tell me what to do.” Brian looks at Pat’s face, sees the intensity in his eyes, sees the way Pat’s watching him just as much as Brian normally watches Pat. “I promise I’ll be good.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” Pat groans, and he seems at a loss for what to say, overwhelmed, and Brian finds it in him to take a step, licking his hand long and slow, keeping eye contact the entire time, before palming Pat’s dick, watching the way Pat’s shoulders slump, and his head leans back. 

Finally, he takes Pat into his mouth, and swallows around him. It’s been a while since he last sucked someone off, and he feels rusty, but Pat’s pulling at his hair even harder, and he’s biting his lip, so Brian feels okay to press his tongue against the underside of Pat’s cock, before pulling away to breathe a little. Pat’s muttering to himself, a choir of ‘fuck’ and ‘Brian’ and ‘baby’, that makes Brian feel smug. He hadn’t been expecting Pat to be vocal, but he is, and Brian hopes to god that he’s right about them being the last people in the office. He feels like it’s a bad sign to be blowing your co-worker within two months of starting your job.

Pat doesn’t get quieter with time, and the more Brian works his tongue over his dick, the more he takes down. Brian’s eyes are watering in a way that’s kind of embarassing, and his jaw kind of aches from mispractice, but feeling Pat’s hands clench and pull in his hair, and hearing the litany of curses pouring from Pat’s mouth is more of a turn on than he wants to admit. His jeans are feeling achingly tight. Pat’s hips thrust when Brian brushes his tongue over the head of his cock, and Brian holds back his gag reflex, lets Pat thrust into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. This makes him louder, makes the words turn to sensless babbling, “fuck, baby boy, fuck, so good”, and groans and noises, all of which go straight to Brian’s neglected dick.

Pat’s only warning when he cums is a shout, half a second early, that turns into a long groan, and panting, along with a sharp pull of Brian’s hair. Brian’s pretty certain that if he were a few years younger he’d come in his pants. Brian swallows, but keeps Pat’s softening cock in his mouth, liking the weight of it on his tongue, before Pat pulls himself away, and gently pulls his boxers back up.

Brian’s hard on is pressing against the hard denim of his jeans, but he feels incapable of touching himself without permission, without an order, so instead he just looks up at Pat, still breathing a little hard, but he looks back at Brian, and pulls him up to his feet, and down so Brian’s sitting on his lap, before he kisses him, seemingly not minding the kinda gross taste in Brian’s mouth. He pulls Brian nearer to him, his hands on Brian’s ass, and Brian whimpers, despite himself, and tilts his head back, allowing Pat easy access to his neck, which Pat immediately takes advantage of, kissing and biting and sucking his way from Brian’s jawline to lower, sucking dark bruises into his skin, marking his territory. 

Brian is painfully aware that his cock remains untouched, and groans.

“Please, please, please, please” he starts to chant, his voice embarrassingly breaking in the middle, his eyes clenched shut, helpless in Pat’s lap. “Please touch me.”

Pat hums, deep in his throat, kisses a newly forming bruise on Brian’s neck.

“No, not yet. If I’m going to touch you, I’m not going to do it here. If I’m going to touch you, it’s going to be in bed. Is that okay?”

“Y-yes” Brian wants to cry, wants to throw a fit and make Pat take him into his hand, but similarly, he wants to obey. He wants to do his thing on Pat’s terms, wants the satisfaction from following orders. 

“Good boy, bet you can’t wait to be spread out in my bed.” Pat says, brushing Brian’s hair and kissing his temple quickly, the brief contact of Pat’s skin against his only making Brian feel worse. Brian can’t even deal with any of those comments, can’t deal with how his jeans restrict further with the ‘good boy’, or how much he really and truly does want Pat to spread him out in his bed, wants to do anything Pat wants of him. “C’mon, we’ll take the subway to mine. It’ll be no time at all.” Pat pulls his pants up quietly, before taking Brian’s hand and leading him out the door, to grab their coats and things. Brian allows himself to be pulled along, stuck in the magnetic trap of Pat, his dick still achingly hard. He feels like he might start crying any second.

“Pat, my jackets really short.” Brian’s starting to panic “Everyone’s gonna see me, I’m going to get arrested for indecent exposure!” His voice rises in panic before Pat pushes his own too large coat onto Brian’s shoulders, and buttons it up, bit by bit. Brian still feels too exposed, too visible, but Pat seems satisfied, like he’s marked his territory, he’s covered Brian in his clothes

Pat is still holding Brian’s hand when he drags Brian out the front door, and Brian stumbles forward. He doesn’t think there’s any world where he wouldn’t follow Pat out the door, no world where he’s not ridiculously drawn to him, no world where he wouldn’t stupidly jeopardize his career to get on his knees for Pat.

That makes him sound kind of stupid really.

It’s January, so New York is still freezing, and Brian shivers underneath Pat’s coat, as Pat pulls him to the subway. Normally they’d be talking each others ears off, but Brian has no room for anything in his head, other than the awareness of Pat’s closeness. 

On the subway, they stand, and Brian buries his face into Pat’s chest and Pat rubs his hands up and down his back, softly, and Brian doesn’t really have a hard on anymore, but everything feels so much more than it is, he feels overstimulated and out of it, and the more Pat touches him the better and worse it feels simultaneously.

Finally, when they get to Pat’s, when they get through the door and Brian pulls Pat’s coat off him, and then throws himself at him, desperate and clinging. Physical affection always hits him hard. Pat pushes him up against the door, and goes back to kissing Brian’s neck, and it’s almost painful in its intensity. He’s hypersensitive and aching. 

“I wanted-” Pat breathes heavy, fingers nimbly unbuttoning Brian’s shirt, “I wanted to get you into my bed, but now, now that seems ridiculous, when I could have you right here,” Brian groans at that, Pat’s gotten his shirt open and is pulling it off, pressing soft open mouth kisses down Brian’s chest. “You’re gorgeous.”

Brian squirms at that, can’t stop thinking about his too pale chest, the way his stomach is soft, and his chicken legs. He’s got a nice face, but he’s never considered himself anything other than average. But with Pat, he feels like Pat’s telling the truth, like Pat thinks he’s gorgeous. 

The age difference is there, small though it is, and has that power rush, knowing he’s a pretty young thing to Pat. It’s a ridiculous way to think, but it makes him pull Pat into a long slow kiss, makes him press his hands into his soft hair. Pat breaks the kiss and grabs Brian’s hand, and pulls him to his bedroom.

Pat’s bedroom is pretty empty, but deeply lived in. There’s a small bedside table next to a large double bed with grey and white sheets, and a small pile of clothes next to an empty laundry basket, which makes Brian giggle a little bit. Then he notices that Pat’s taking off his shirt, and instead of laughing at Pat, he quickly shucks off his shirt and trousers, and on the bed in his boxers, looking at Pat as he slowly undoes all the buttons.

“Enjoying the view, kid?” Pat says, and the way he calls him kid shouldn’t make him shiver. It shouldn’t. 

“Yes,” says Brian simply, smiling at him, and Pat rolls his eyes, pulls down his trousers, and then he’s standing in front of him in his boxers. Brian smiles, grabs his hands and pulls him down for a kiss, their positions reversed, Pat with his legs stretched out in Brian’s lap.

They roll over so they’re both lying down, with Brian underneath Pat and Brian only coughs a little when Pat accidentally elbows him in the gut, so he’d call that a success. Pat looks down at Brian, sees him spread out against his sheets, and smiles, and Brian flushes and resists the urge to wiggle away, deciding to just let Pat do what he wants. And in this case it seems, what he wants is to pull Brian’s boxers down, and suck him off. Well. Brian certainly doesn’t mind that. 

Pat’s mouth is softer than Brian imagined, and it’s more of a turn on than he’d thought it be to watch Pat’s eyes go glassier, and his lips go redder around his cock. He uses his hands more than Brian did, puts more pressure on him, but it’s good, and Brian is close to the edge embarrassingly quickly. He justifies it to himself by saying that he’s been on and off the edge for ages, what with how mercilessly Pat has teased him. He wraps his hand in Pat’s hair, just to touch, just to feel closer. 

He shouts out a warning before he’s about to cum, because he’s a polite boy, and Pat strokes him to completion, before taking him gently back in his mouth, and sucking him through the aftershocks as Brian faintly twitches in his bed. After a moment, Brian grabs his hand and pulls him back towards him so Pat can lie on top of him and they can kiss, even though he tastes kind of gross.

“Do you want to do, uh, anything else?” One day Brian will be able to question partners on what they want without feeling like an awkward 17 year old who doesn’t know what he’s doing. It won’t come any day soon, but when it does, Brian will finally know he’s a grown man. Pat smiles at that though, and kisses him in the corner of his mouth.

“Uh, I’m kind of tired,” Pat chuckles here, looks a little embarrassed. “So mostly I just want to kiss you more, and then sleep with you in my bed, and then go to work together tomorrow, and if it’s alright with you, keep doing that? And uh, if you wouldn’t mind, maybe, try something?” Pat’s sheepish, and he’s smiling.

“That sounds perfect,” says Brian, and if he can’t stop smiling for the next week, well. That’s just fine.


End file.
